RIP Handshake: It's a Huggy Hug World Out There, With No Room For You

It's recently come to my attention that the handshake has left the building. Seriously, when is the last time someone offered you their hand in greeting as opposed to just going in for the big one (when it wasn't a job interview)? It's borderline out of control. I understand that this new generation is more comfortable and less formal (blah blah blah), but seriously folks..I have no desire to be that close to you the first time we meet.

Granted, I have been known to have a personal space issue from time (maybe the yard stick I used to carry around was a bit extreme, but you get the drift).

Here is a list of reasons why handshakes are better than hugs:
1. You don't have to smell the person you are shaking hands with, while a hug guarantees that you will (this is not that relevent to me because of my anosmia (yeah, I googled that one, don't worry)), but my roommate holds her breath every time she hugs someone and this is just not safe, she could pass out one day.
2. There is only one way to shake hands, while hugging can just get very awkward. Do I go for the side? Full frontal? How much pressure do I apply? Do I simply embrace or do I pat the back? Am I over thinking it? Maybe, but for us over thinkers, hugging can get a little stressful.
3. How long do you hang on? You don't want to be the first to let go...that show's a lack of concern, but you don't want to hang on too long either because that's just creepy. Granted you can end up with carpal tunnel the way some people shake hands these days, but at least your nose isn't pressed in the person's weird smelling hair while this is all going down.

I have also noticed that the handshake is a completely lost art. Ever gotten what I like to call the limp fish? This is particularly common during church greeting time and I hate to admit it, but it is usually my sex at fault. Such a struggle.

So, here at the end of my sermon I would like to offer a challenge. The next time you meet someone, stick that hand out there proudly, give the other persons hand a quick pump and be on your way.

However, if you are as lucky as I am in no less than 4 situations in the last 3 weeks, your handshake will be rejected as that person had already gone in for the hug, so you're stuck in an even more awkward situation; a hand out and an embrace (think about where that extended hand is headed..straight for the gut..or worse).

Woe is me, maybe one day I'll be the hugging initiator making everyone else feel weird, but I doubt it.

Claire

Some Things to Consider:
1. My mother informed me today, after having gone to a wedding where the mother talked extensively about how she was praying for that groom since the daughter was born, that she hasn't done that and refuses too...she prays for me to lead a Godly life in His will or something I guess...sheesh...what am I supposed to do now? I'm screwed.

2. I heard that one of the Real Housewives of New Jersey makes $79,000, but spends more than 11 million a year. HOLY COW! Seriously, I'll be honest, I get nauseous thinking about the cable bill that's about to set me back 80 bucks a month. I cannot imagine being in that much debt.