So. As I write this, I am staring at my room of crap that has somehow accumulated over the last 22 years. AND it all has to leave. Preferably by tomorrow. Let's be honest, it won't happen. BUT. In excellent news, I know hold the keys to my apartment and I can move in tomorrow. This is even greater news to my brother who's moving into my room (nothing says love like going out and getting paint swatches the day after I put the deposit on my apartment).
Here's the question: What in the world do you do with all this stuff? I mean..you just feel guilty throwing things away like trophies and American Girl Dolls...but it's not like they go with my decor. SO. Instead of tackling this issue, I am writing this blog.
Today was also the first day of good old Camp Kearney. It rained. A kid slapped me. An incident report was filed. Chalk it up as a win. BUT despite that, it was a good day and tomorrow's crazy hat day, so you can't go wrong...unless a kid decides they want to punch me this time.
ALSO. SILLY BANDS! They are my life. I am in intense competition to see who can get the most. So far I'm in the lead with 4. Keep in mind that until lunchtime today I had none (unless you count my broken stegosaurus (THANKS MEL)). ALSO bear in mind that I originally got a loaf of bread and a mini-van and somehow managed to trade around until I ended up with a seahorse, turtle, giraffe and penguin. LIFE IS GOOD.
Claire
Some Things to Consider:
1. The Bachelorette: I will be the first to admit that I am shamelessly addicted. BUT, this kid on their went and got a tattoo symbolizing their relationship. Not only was it extraordinarily uncomfortable to watch, but COME ON! You are one of 11 guys, and now you are stuck with a tattoo because she is not going to choose you because of the INTENSE creepy factor that brings about. EEK. Case and Point: We all saw what happened to L.C. on The HIlls, no body wants to try and turn a J (as in Jason) into an L. Don't get relationship tattoos, it never ends well.
2. Conversation my sister's pack had today:
Kid 1: Miss Haley, are you married?
Haley: No..I'm to young to get married!
Kid 1: NO! I know tons of people your age married!
Haley: Well, who am I supposed to marry?
Kid 1: Some boy I don't know...
Haley: Oooh, well. Who's your wife then?
Kid 1: I don't have one!
Kid 2: When I have a girlfriend, I want her to be a robot girl, so we can smash buildings together.
Kid 3: When I have a boyfriend, I want him to be named Jackson
Kid 4: Sometimes you can chose your boyfriend's name, Teila!
Kid 5: Well, I just want a really pretty girlfriend.
Kid 6: I don't really care what they look like, I just want them to be nice on the inside.
6 year olds are so hilarious, much funnier than my 10 year olds, but I don't have to tie 10 year olds shoes and they don't try to sit on my lap when it's 1.8 million degrees either. SO. I live vicariously through Haley's stories.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
RIP Handshake: It's a Huggy Hug World Out There, With No Room For You
It's recently come to my attention that the handshake has left the building. Seriously, when is the last time someone offered you their hand in greeting as opposed to just going in for the big one (when it wasn't a job interview)? It's borderline out of control. I understand that this new generation is more comfortable and less formal (blah blah blah), but seriously folks..I have no desire to be that close to you the first time we meet.
Granted, I have been known to have a personal space issue from time (maybe the yard stick I used to carry around was a bit extreme, but you get the drift).
Here is a list of reasons why handshakes are better than hugs:
1. You don't have to smell the person you are shaking hands with, while a hug guarantees that you will (this is not that relevent to me because of my anosmia (yeah, I googled that one, don't worry)), but my roommate holds her breath every time she hugs someone and this is just not safe, she could pass out one day.
2. There is only one way to shake hands, while hugging can just get very awkward. Do I go for the side? Full frontal? How much pressure do I apply? Do I simply embrace or do I pat the back? Am I over thinking it? Maybe, but for us over thinkers, hugging can get a little stressful.
3. How long do you hang on? You don't want to be the first to let go...that show's a lack of concern, but you don't want to hang on too long either because that's just creepy. Granted you can end up with carpal tunnel the way some people shake hands these days, but at least your nose isn't pressed in the person's weird smelling hair while this is all going down.
I have also noticed that the handshake is a completely lost art. Ever gotten what I like to call the limp fish? This is particularly common during church greeting time and I hate to admit it, but it is usually my sex at fault. Such a struggle.
So, here at the end of my sermon I would like to offer a challenge. The next time you meet someone, stick that hand out there proudly, give the other persons hand a quick pump and be on your way.
However, if you are as lucky as I am in no less than 4 situations in the last 3 weeks, your handshake will be rejected as that person had already gone in for the hug, so you're stuck in an even more awkward situation; a hand out and an embrace (think about where that extended hand is headed..straight for the gut..or worse).
Woe is me, maybe one day I'll be the hugging initiator making everyone else feel weird, but I doubt it.
Claire
Some Things to Consider:
1. My mother informed me today, after having gone to a wedding where the mother talked extensively about how she was praying for that groom since the daughter was born, that she hasn't done that and refuses too...she prays for me to lead a Godly life in His will or something I guess...sheesh...what am I supposed to do now? I'm screwed.
2. I heard that one of the Real Housewives of New Jersey makes $79,000, but spends more than 11 million a year. HOLY COW! Seriously, I'll be honest, I get nauseous thinking about the cable bill that's about to set me back 80 bucks a month. I cannot imagine being in that much debt.
Granted, I have been known to have a personal space issue from time (maybe the yard stick I used to carry around was a bit extreme, but you get the drift).
Here is a list of reasons why handshakes are better than hugs:
1. You don't have to smell the person you are shaking hands with, while a hug guarantees that you will (this is not that relevent to me because of my anosmia (yeah, I googled that one, don't worry)), but my roommate holds her breath every time she hugs someone and this is just not safe, she could pass out one day.
2. There is only one way to shake hands, while hugging can just get very awkward. Do I go for the side? Full frontal? How much pressure do I apply? Do I simply embrace or do I pat the back? Am I over thinking it? Maybe, but for us over thinkers, hugging can get a little stressful.
3. How long do you hang on? You don't want to be the first to let go...that show's a lack of concern, but you don't want to hang on too long either because that's just creepy. Granted you can end up with carpal tunnel the way some people shake hands these days, but at least your nose isn't pressed in the person's weird smelling hair while this is all going down.
I have also noticed that the handshake is a completely lost art. Ever gotten what I like to call the limp fish? This is particularly common during church greeting time and I hate to admit it, but it is usually my sex at fault. Such a struggle.
So, here at the end of my sermon I would like to offer a challenge. The next time you meet someone, stick that hand out there proudly, give the other persons hand a quick pump and be on your way.
However, if you are as lucky as I am in no less than 4 situations in the last 3 weeks, your handshake will be rejected as that person had already gone in for the hug, so you're stuck in an even more awkward situation; a hand out and an embrace (think about where that extended hand is headed..straight for the gut..or worse).
Woe is me, maybe one day I'll be the hugging initiator making everyone else feel weird, but I doubt it.
Claire
Some Things to Consider:
1. My mother informed me today, after having gone to a wedding where the mother talked extensively about how she was praying for that groom since the daughter was born, that she hasn't done that and refuses too...she prays for me to lead a Godly life in His will or something I guess...sheesh...what am I supposed to do now? I'm screwed.
2. I heard that one of the Real Housewives of New Jersey makes $79,000, but spends more than 11 million a year. HOLY COW! Seriously, I'll be honest, I get nauseous thinking about the cable bill that's about to set me back 80 bucks a month. I cannot imagine being in that much debt.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
I'm only gonna break break your break break your heart.
My title has little to no significance. It's just stuck in my head. So there you go. I couldn't even tell you who sings that song. Whatevskies.
So. In exciting news, I have an apartment. AKA my sister's boyfriend now has a place to stay if he comes to visit, according to my father. Having lived in a college dorm/furnished house for the last 4 years, I naturally have no furniture, so it has become very necessary that I acquire some, lest I desire to sit on the wood floor while living my life. However, PROBLEM SOLVED. Thanks to my bff craig's list, I am the new owner of a pair of couches. They are actually very nice couches, and to be honest, they were a steal. It's not every day you come across pottery barn couches for the price I paid for them. You might be thinking, wow! That's awesome! Pottery Barn stuff is super cute and you would be correct in thinking that most things that come off the shelf at Pottery Barn are precious (and heinously overpriced). However, on this occasion you would be sorely mistaken. My couches, for all their comfort and price practicality are DENIM (much like the underwear that seams to be so popular that I talked about in my previous post). It looks like a levi's factory exploded in my living room. I was very distraught by this for a few hours until I came up with this: I can call them the Jouch (or Jofa) and the Joveseat. I find great comfort in being able to give things funny names (my car for instance is the Whale because when I first got it, that's what the horn sounded like). SO, although my original intention was to get new slipcovers for these bad boys, I have a feeling I will have a hard time parting with the divine denim look of these fabulous pieces of furniture. (like my alliterations there?)
Other news: I am reading the memoirs of Josh Hamilton, the baseball player: Once addicted to crack, now addicted to Christ. I'm not going to lie to you, I can't put the dang book down. He may have been addicted to actual crack, but his book is like crack to me. Anyway, I recently came to the realization that of the non-fiction books I have read in my entire life (trust me, there are not many, like maybe 7 tops) the only ones I have enjoyed have been the stories of baseball players (so, this one and the biography of Sammy Sosa). I'm glad I've honed in on this niche, because it's going to make my summer reading list more substantial than my previous list which consisted of the entire Gossip Girl series.
That's all I have for you tonight folks, may all your skies be blue and all your couches be denim.
Claire
Some Things to Consider:
1. Internet Lingo: do U fnd it dum whn ppl wrt lyk dis? b*cuz I do. srsly ppl, have U evr hrd of punctuation or grammar (no lingo for those words, it would be an oxymoron)? so dum.
2. The Pregnancy Pact: Just watched this movie on Lifetime, I have no profound thoughts to throw out about this movie, but as long as you are considering things, consider watching this movie. You won't regret it. (okay, maybe you will, but is entertaining none the less).
So. In exciting news, I have an apartment. AKA my sister's boyfriend now has a place to stay if he comes to visit, according to my father. Having lived in a college dorm/furnished house for the last 4 years, I naturally have no furniture, so it has become very necessary that I acquire some, lest I desire to sit on the wood floor while living my life. However, PROBLEM SOLVED. Thanks to my bff craig's list, I am the new owner of a pair of couches. They are actually very nice couches, and to be honest, they were a steal. It's not every day you come across pottery barn couches for the price I paid for them. You might be thinking, wow! That's awesome! Pottery Barn stuff is super cute and you would be correct in thinking that most things that come off the shelf at Pottery Barn are precious (and heinously overpriced). However, on this occasion you would be sorely mistaken. My couches, for all their comfort and price practicality are DENIM (much like the underwear that seams to be so popular that I talked about in my previous post). It looks like a levi's factory exploded in my living room. I was very distraught by this for a few hours until I came up with this: I can call them the Jouch (or Jofa) and the Joveseat. I find great comfort in being able to give things funny names (my car for instance is the Whale because when I first got it, that's what the horn sounded like). SO, although my original intention was to get new slipcovers for these bad boys, I have a feeling I will have a hard time parting with the divine denim look of these fabulous pieces of furniture. (like my alliterations there?)
Other news: I am reading the memoirs of Josh Hamilton, the baseball player: Once addicted to crack, now addicted to Christ. I'm not going to lie to you, I can't put the dang book down. He may have been addicted to actual crack, but his book is like crack to me. Anyway, I recently came to the realization that of the non-fiction books I have read in my entire life (trust me, there are not many, like maybe 7 tops) the only ones I have enjoyed have been the stories of baseball players (so, this one and the biography of Sammy Sosa). I'm glad I've honed in on this niche, because it's going to make my summer reading list more substantial than my previous list which consisted of the entire Gossip Girl series.
That's all I have for you tonight folks, may all your skies be blue and all your couches be denim.
Claire
Some Things to Consider:
1. Internet Lingo: do U fnd it dum whn ppl wrt lyk dis? b*cuz I do. srsly ppl, have U evr hrd of punctuation or grammar (no lingo for those words, it would be an oxymoron)? so dum.
2. The Pregnancy Pact: Just watched this movie on Lifetime, I have no profound thoughts to throw out about this movie, but as long as you are considering things, consider watching this movie. You won't regret it. (okay, maybe you will, but is entertaining none the less).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)