Well. I just returned (I mean literally 5 minute ago) from probably one of the top ten weekends of my life. Maybe that's an over statement...but I really don't think so.
Best Friends. 6D glasses. Southern Accents. Cuddles. Laughs. 8 hours in the car. 5 stop road trip. Creeping...
It just doesn't get much better.
Just for the record...I'm pretty sure my friends are better than yours. If nothing else...we are definitely weirder...
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Abstinence: Part II
No Sex Sam: Some of the consequences of using alcohol include cirrhosis of the liver, irregularity of menstrual cycles for women and impotence for men.
Student: Um...what's impotence?
No Sex Sam: It's like the lack of ability to be aroused. Like you're not turned on any more (good thing yesterday's student wasn't in here...could have struggled to understand)
Student: Oohh. So like they turn gay?
No Sex Sam: Ummm. No.
Student: Um...what's impotence?
No Sex Sam: It's like the lack of ability to be aroused. Like you're not turned on any more (good thing yesterday's student wasn't in here...could have struggled to understand)
Student: Oohh. So like they turn gay?
No Sex Sam: Ummm. No.
Monday, February 21, 2011
If Ya Like It Then You Shoulda Put a Ring on It...
Well friends...
Abstinence training has come to 8th grade science. Let me just tell you, this could possibly be the best week of my life. Naturally, I was thrilled to hear that someone else would be teaching my class for an entire week while I catch up on my grading and fiction reading...little did I know that it would also be a comic gem. I forget how awkward 8th graders (well let's be real here...really the whole world) are about SEX (that's right...I said it....unlike my kids...who really struggle to say the word). A few quotes (keep in mind we are only on day 1 here...there are FOUR left).
Student: Uhh. Miss Kinney...is that guy coming to talk about the dirty stuff on Monday?
Me: You mean SEX!?
Student: Sheeeshhh!! You don't have to say it!!
Abstinence Sam (named has been changed for protective purposes): SO. Boys are more likely to have sex because they want to impress their friends or because they are just turned on.
Student: Um. What do you mean by turned on?
Abstinence Sam: You know...turned on.
Student: But what does that mean? (He is getting VERY VERY red)
Abstinence Sam: Ummm. Like aroused...he wants to have sex with a girl.
Student: Oh. OOOHHHH...
All I can say is...you know a class period is going to be good when some of the first words out of the instructor's mouth are oral and anal sex.
Claire
Some Things to Consider:
1. I have figured out how to make my students shut up. Just mention sex. They can't even look at each other when that word is said.
2. Today I successfully purchased an air filter for my car. I hate going in those places though..they always look at me like I have three heads...it's probably because I had no idea what I was even buying. But all in all...I thought I had a much better showing than the time they asked me to pop my hood and I didn't know how...
Abstinence training has come to 8th grade science. Let me just tell you, this could possibly be the best week of my life. Naturally, I was thrilled to hear that someone else would be teaching my class for an entire week while I catch up on my grading and fiction reading...little did I know that it would also be a comic gem. I forget how awkward 8th graders (well let's be real here...really the whole world) are about SEX (that's right...I said it....unlike my kids...who really struggle to say the word). A few quotes (keep in mind we are only on day 1 here...there are FOUR left).
Student: Uhh. Miss Kinney...is that guy coming to talk about the dirty stuff on Monday?
Me: You mean SEX!?
Student: Sheeeshhh!! You don't have to say it!!
Abstinence Sam (named has been changed for protective purposes): SO. Boys are more likely to have sex because they want to impress their friends or because they are just turned on.
Student: Um. What do you mean by turned on?
Abstinence Sam: You know...turned on.
Student: But what does that mean? (He is getting VERY VERY red)
Abstinence Sam: Ummm. Like aroused...he wants to have sex with a girl.
Student: Oh. OOOHHHH...
All I can say is...you know a class period is going to be good when some of the first words out of the instructor's mouth are oral and anal sex.
Claire
Some Things to Consider:
1. I have figured out how to make my students shut up. Just mention sex. They can't even look at each other when that word is said.
2. Today I successfully purchased an air filter for my car. I hate going in those places though..they always look at me like I have three heads...it's probably because I had no idea what I was even buying. But all in all...I thought I had a much better showing than the time they asked me to pop my hood and I didn't know how...
Monday, February 14, 2011
Happy Valentine's Day World!
Well. You can imagine that Valentine's day went off with flair in the eighth grade. I'll be honest...I expected sugar crazed children who were too focused on each other and their hormones to focus on Science. I was pleasantly surprised to find them positively angelic...or as angelic as you can really get with a face full of acne and eyes that never seem to grace the front of their heads. I even got a Hello Kitty Valentine's day card and two Valentine's grams...I guess some of these little wonders aren't too proud to show their teachers some love. Maybe I was just caught up in the spirit because I got a delightful surprise from my man of choice. Either way...it was a good day full of PDA, cheap flowers and a LOT of stuffed animals.
On a different note...I was cleaning out some drawers when I found this little gem.
2: Cebo (Note: The colon was actually made of hearts)
Envelope: Makayla (Note: It did not actually say envelope, it was a picture of one)
Yea that last not was really long but one time i wrote one that was 14 pages lol i'm going to do that to you 2 nite i'm going to write you a long note lol it will take you forever to read it but you will be ok lol i'm surprised you actually said that you was going to wright me back o yea and after skewl me and you are goin to walk to the high skewl so i can see meghan if that is okay with yew yea mamaw likes yew that is a good thing. (Note: This is the first period in the entire thing. It was shaped like a heart.) I honestly love you. alot you should know that we been daten for 10 days with a 1 and a 1/2 day breack up but it was stupid if i could i would be with yew 24 7 soo but to nite im going to write you along note lol hilarious i take most of my my time and write you but idc it okay i love yew. well G2G but i loveeeyeww.
P.S. we need to have little nicknames like baby boo care bear sumin like that lol i'm awkward (Note: YES. Yes. you are.)
If you tried to read this but couldn't wade through...make a better effort...it's worth your time. I recommend using the word yea as a period and working from there.
Happy Valentine's Day Lovers!
Claire
Some Things to Consider:
1. Watching Jeopardy tonight: Watson v. Ken v. Brad. Seriously, I am about to pee my pants with excitement. Also. If a human doesn't win this...I'm doing to delve farther into my research on aliens (first instigated because of my new love for books about post apocalyptic worlds with aliens.)
2. Because my man of choice lives in a far away land...I will be enjoying this Valentine's Day with some Jimmy John's, Beer Bread, Cookies, Jeopardy and one of my dearest friends. Awww yeahhh.
On a different note...I was cleaning out some drawers when I found this little gem.
2: Cebo (Note: The colon was actually made of hearts)
Envelope: Makayla (Note: It did not actually say envelope, it was a picture of one)
Yea that last not was really long but one time i wrote one that was 14 pages lol i'm going to do that to you 2 nite i'm going to write you a long note lol it will take you forever to read it but you will be ok lol i'm surprised you actually said that you was going to wright me back o yea and after skewl me and you are goin to walk to the high skewl so i can see meghan if that is okay with yew yea mamaw likes yew that is a good thing. (Note: This is the first period in the entire thing. It was shaped like a heart.) I honestly love you. alot you should know that we been daten for 10 days with a 1 and a 1/2 day breack up but it was stupid if i could i would be with yew 24 7 soo but to nite im going to write you along note lol hilarious i take most of my my time and write you but idc it okay i love yew. well G2G but i loveeeyeww.
P.S. we need to have little nicknames like baby boo care bear sumin like that lol i'm awkward (Note: YES. Yes. you are.)
If you tried to read this but couldn't wade through...make a better effort...it's worth your time. I recommend using the word yea as a period and working from there.
Happy Valentine's Day Lovers!
Claire
Some Things to Consider:
1. Watching Jeopardy tonight: Watson v. Ken v. Brad. Seriously, I am about to pee my pants with excitement. Also. If a human doesn't win this...I'm doing to delve farther into my research on aliens (first instigated because of my new love for books about post apocalyptic worlds with aliens.)
2. Because my man of choice lives in a far away land...I will be enjoying this Valentine's Day with some Jimmy John's, Beer Bread, Cookies, Jeopardy and one of my dearest friends. Awww yeahhh.
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