If you were wondering what is wrong with today's society...

I'm pretty sure all the problems in the world can be summed up in one television show.

Toddlers in Tiaras.

Wow. The only word that sums up this show for me. However, I can't stop watching. Cannot.
There was a marathon on. I watched a few episodes.

I even find myself picking a toddler and rooting for them. Then I think about what I'm doing and consider scooping out my eye balls with a spoon.

Then sometimes I put myself in their shoes. I think about what I would have been like as a child participating in such an affair. But that's an absurd pipe dream because my mother wouldn't even let me be a cheerleader as a child because she thought they were ridiculous. Pageantry was never even spoken of...and if it was...it was to make fun of it. The idea of her taking the role of one of these mothers is virtually impossible to imagine. If you know my mother...you are probably currently laughing at the thought.

After watching the show, I am eternally grateful for my mother and the fact that she is NOT one of these women, who, let's be honest, are living out their dreams of grandeur in their daughters ultimategrandsupremedarlingdiva titles.

This is the closest I've come to being a darling diva:



So. Even if I wanted to be a darling diva...I couldn't because of my baby pattern baldness. (Keep in mind...this is my 3rd birthday) I'm pretty sure they had to glue that bow to my head. Also. Killer sweat suit, huh?

In conclusion. Toddlers in Tiaras. Horrible Show. Season premiere tonight. Will I be watching?

Absolutely.

Claire

Some Things to Consider:

1. Merry Christmas! If you know me...you know that I would prefer to celebrate Christmas year round. So here you go Christmas haters...just when you thought it was all over...four days after Christmas, I'm ready for next year! MERRY CHRISTMAS! (happy new year too, i guess...)

2. I'm currently watching My Strange Addiction. So far we've had a thumb sucker, a body builder, a lady who sleeps with her blowdryer and a girl who eats toilet paper. Sometimes I think I'm one of the stranger creatures that God created...then i watch TLC.

In Love with Science.

A conversation with my kiddos today:

Kid 1: Ms. Kinney, do you have a boyfriend?
Me: None of your business
Kid 2: No way she does! Her boyfriend is Science.
Me: EXACTLY!
Kid 2: All Ms. Kinney really does is go home to her apartment and her cat and read the science book every night.
Me: You are exactly right. So far, I've read our text book 15 times this year. Sometimes I take a break from reading it to feed my cat Einstein.
Kid 1: Wow. Ms. Kinney...that's a rough life.
Me: Yeah....it is...but someone has to do it in order to teach you crazies.

I love lying to pre-teens. I'm thinking of making it a full time hobby...oh wait...I already have.

One Month ago Today...

I wrote my last blog post.

It's been a while friends. Sorry for my absence. Things have been a little nutty lately and not too much of interest has been going on...at least not anything that I'm going to blog about.

However, over the month I have come up with a few things of note for you.

1. The other day I was talking to my students about waves. I asked them to name any type of wave they could think of.
Student "P waves and S waves."
Me: "Good. What are those?"
Student:"Ain't they got sumin to do wid Earthquakes?"
Me: "YES. Any idea what the P and S stand for?"
Student: "Ain't it Primary waves and Seduction waves."
Me: "Um. Seduction Waves?"
Student:"Yeah. Ain't that right? Seduction?"
Me: "Not quite." "Can anyone help him out?"
Other Student: "It's SUBDUCTION."
Me: "Actually that S stands for Secondary...but nice try."

It is the time of year for romance and love. Might I suggest some Seduction waves if you need some help?

Today I decided Owen needed some Christmas spirit. So. I defied his manhood and put a bow on his collar. Owen got excited because he got a new toy...kind of like he did when I put the tree up and ornaments became his new best friend...and then he broke them all and knocked over the tree.

Merry Christmas One and All. May your homes be filled with standing Christmas trees decorated with seduction waves.

Claire

Some Things to Consider:
1. Lifetime and the Hallmark Channel get about 1293876 times better this time of year. I highly recommend you check out some of their awesome classics like Christmas Cupid and The Dog Who Saved Christmas. All very worthwhile.

2. Recently I made a recipe I found on the side of a stuffing box. Now. I have probably eaten more sodium than I should for a lifetime...but man...I highly recommend it.