I'll start with a conversation I had with a student yesterday.
Kid: "Um. Ms. Kinney, I know we're starting to talk about global warming, and I just want you to know that Sam doesn't believe in global warming, and he's really opinionated about it, so you should probably prepare yourself for battle."
Today's Assignment:
Make an accrostic using the letters in GLOBAL WARMING, to tell me what you know about it.
Typical Answer:
G-Greenhouse Effect
L-Land Loss
O-Ozone Layer Depletion
B-Bad for Polar Bears
A- Air quality is affected by carbon emission
L-Louisiana getting smaller
W-Warming of the Earth
A-Atomosphere Harmed
R-Rays of Sun
M-Melting
I-Ice Caps
N-Non-renewable Resources
G- Global Crisis
Sam's Answer:
G-Gas
L-Lies
O-Obsession
B-Bogus
A- Absolutely Ridiculous
L-Leftist
W-Wrong
A-Al Gore is crazy
R-Radical
M-Marxist
I-Idiotic
N-National Socialist Party
G-Green Nut Cases
Well. I think we all know where Sam stands on the 2012 election...
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
The Nuclear Power Plant Post
"Um. Ms. Kinney, I've never really understood the concept of nuclear power plants."
"Okay. What don't you understand?"
"Well. Do they just start with like radioactive seeds??"
"Huh?"
"Ya know, seeds grow into plants."
Bah!
"Okay. What don't you understand?"
"Well. Do they just start with like radioactive seeds??"
"Huh?"
"Ya know, seeds grow into plants."
Bah!
Monday, January 2, 2012
The Lost Cell Phone Post
I am not famous for my ability to keep up with things. I don't necessarily actually lose things to the point of no return very frequently (although my iPod seems to fall in this category recently), but I definitely do a lot of misplacing. If I had a dollar for every time I haven't been able to find my keys when it's time to leave, I could solve world hunger.
This weekend I went to Indianapolis to ring in 2012 with some of my dear friends from college. I'm on my way back yesterday afternoon when my friend calls me to tell me that I left my makeup bag in her bathroom. Annoying. Not something you can easily replace. I turn around. Fortunately at this point I haven't even gotten on the interstate yet. So I go back and get my bag and stop and get some gas on my way out of town. I am about 30 miles down the road when I realize I can't find my phone. I am freaking out already because I'm running behind schedule and I need to get home so I can plan my lessons for the week and clean my apartment for the belated Christmas party I'm having tonight. I decide I am not going back because I have no idea where it is. My thoughts on where it could be: In the parking lot of my friend's apartment, at the gas station or (what I was really convinced had happened) I put it on the roof of my car and drove away, leaving my poor little flip phone crushed to smitherines beneath the wheels of a semi truck. I decide to keep going and figure something out when I get home.
I get all the way to school, after having stopped multiple times to keep looking around in my car, hoping it will turn up and I still can't find it. Knowing that no where was open on a Sunday night, much less a Sunday night that also happens to be New Year's Day. So I buy a pre-paid phone. It's this awesome little Samsung that cost me a grand total of $15, an investment I deem worthy since the phone I'm currently using can't even make a phone call it's so decrepit. I prepare myself to do all my phone business through this little phone that is so basic it doesn't even have t9 texting abilities. I literally had to press every number the number of times I needed for the letter, so like if I wanted to type "R" as in this Really sucks...I had to tap the number 7 three times. Oh well, I can handle it. So I call my parents, explain my predicament and explain to them how I'm the most irresponsible person ever. I make plans with my father to visit the cell phone store today. I get in my car one last time to look and decide to call my phone from my new awesome pre-paid phone, just to see what happens. I figure best case scenerio some weird cashier at the gas station picks up and tells me it's at the Speedway on Kessler in Indianapolis.
Currently my ring tone is Crank Dat Lion King. Which starts with the beginning the Circle of Life, you know, that weird part where someone is screaming African tribal chant at the top of their lungs. This is my best typed interpretation, "AYYYYYYEEEEEEESVEEEEENNNYAAAHHHHHHABBBBbAAABEEECHhEEEEMAAHMAHH... AYELAHASVENYAHMAAAA....HILACOKEAHMA..SVENYAHMAAAAA" The part right before "PINK PAJAMAS PENGUINS ON THE BOTTOM, PINK PAJAMAS PENGUINS ON THE BOTTOM." Which is right before my boy Elton starts belting an awesome melody.
So, what do I hear when I call my phone??
"AYYYYYYEEEEEEESVEEEEENNNYAAAHHHHHHABBBBbAAABEEECHhEEEEMAAHMAHH"
I want to gouge my eyes out.
So I'm frantically searching all around my car looking for this ringing phone and still cannot find it. I think I'm losing my mind at this point. In one last effort to find it, I pick up the boot that I have sitting on my passenger seat. I hold it up to my ear and the tribal chant gets louder. Son of a freaking gun. My phone was in my boot. Why didn't I think to look there?? Duh. My phone obviously has excellent taste in footwear.
The bright side of this story is that I found out I'm good for a phone upgrade...meaning, HELLO 21st Century, it's time for me to have a fancier phone to misplace 24/7. iPhone 4S...I'm coming for you and I've already mentally accessorized you. Hope you're prepared and like cheetah print. Goodbye little flip phone with the moveable camera, I'll miss you and your inability to make a phone call.
That's all for now,
Happy New Year!!
Claire
This weekend I went to Indianapolis to ring in 2012 with some of my dear friends from college. I'm on my way back yesterday afternoon when my friend calls me to tell me that I left my makeup bag in her bathroom. Annoying. Not something you can easily replace. I turn around. Fortunately at this point I haven't even gotten on the interstate yet. So I go back and get my bag and stop and get some gas on my way out of town. I am about 30 miles down the road when I realize I can't find my phone. I am freaking out already because I'm running behind schedule and I need to get home so I can plan my lessons for the week and clean my apartment for the belated Christmas party I'm having tonight. I decide I am not going back because I have no idea where it is. My thoughts on where it could be: In the parking lot of my friend's apartment, at the gas station or (what I was really convinced had happened) I put it on the roof of my car and drove away, leaving my poor little flip phone crushed to smitherines beneath the wheels of a semi truck. I decide to keep going and figure something out when I get home.
I get all the way to school, after having stopped multiple times to keep looking around in my car, hoping it will turn up and I still can't find it. Knowing that no where was open on a Sunday night, much less a Sunday night that also happens to be New Year's Day. So I buy a pre-paid phone. It's this awesome little Samsung that cost me a grand total of $15, an investment I deem worthy since the phone I'm currently using can't even make a phone call it's so decrepit. I prepare myself to do all my phone business through this little phone that is so basic it doesn't even have t9 texting abilities. I literally had to press every number the number of times I needed for the letter, so like if I wanted to type "R" as in this Really sucks...I had to tap the number 7 three times. Oh well, I can handle it. So I call my parents, explain my predicament and explain to them how I'm the most irresponsible person ever. I make plans with my father to visit the cell phone store today. I get in my car one last time to look and decide to call my phone from my new awesome pre-paid phone, just to see what happens. I figure best case scenerio some weird cashier at the gas station picks up and tells me it's at the Speedway on Kessler in Indianapolis.
Currently my ring tone is Crank Dat Lion King. Which starts with the beginning the Circle of Life, you know, that weird part where someone is screaming African tribal chant at the top of their lungs. This is my best typed interpretation, "AYYYYYYEEEEEEESVEEEEENNNYAAAHHHHHHABBBBbAAABEEECHhEEEEMAAHMAHH... AYELAHASVENYAHMAAAA....HILACOKEAHMA..SVENYAHMAAAAA" The part right before "PINK PAJAMAS PENGUINS ON THE BOTTOM, PINK PAJAMAS PENGUINS ON THE BOTTOM." Which is right before my boy Elton starts belting an awesome melody.
So, what do I hear when I call my phone??
"AYYYYYYEEEEEEESVEEEEENNNYAAAHHHHHHABBBBbAAABEEECHhEEEEMAAHMAHH"
I want to gouge my eyes out.
So I'm frantically searching all around my car looking for this ringing phone and still cannot find it. I think I'm losing my mind at this point. In one last effort to find it, I pick up the boot that I have sitting on my passenger seat. I hold it up to my ear and the tribal chant gets louder. Son of a freaking gun. My phone was in my boot. Why didn't I think to look there?? Duh. My phone obviously has excellent taste in footwear.
The bright side of this story is that I found out I'm good for a phone upgrade...meaning, HELLO 21st Century, it's time for me to have a fancier phone to misplace 24/7. iPhone 4S...I'm coming for you and I've already mentally accessorized you. Hope you're prepared and like cheetah print. Goodbye little flip phone with the moveable camera, I'll miss you and your inability to make a phone call.
That's all for now,
Happy New Year!!
Claire
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