True Story: I'm driving home from Detroit (land of fast drivers, horrible accents and my dear friend Melissa Coffey) and Dawson McAlister, late night advice DJ, comes on. He literally made teenage dream into an inspirational song with stories inserted about people who almost committed suicide. Even more ridiculous...I almost started crying. Eesesh. Maybe I'm just nuts, but the last time I checked Katy Perry wasn't exactly what one would consider inspirational. (Unless of course you consider California Gurls..that little gem changed my life...)
Another True Story: I went to Arby's to get some dinner while I was on the road. I ordered a number 1 with a water. I pull up to the window. They hand me a roast beef sandwich.
Me: "I ordered a combo. I need fries."
Girl: "I didn't take your order."
Me: "Well. That's nice..but I still need fries."
Girl: "Well. You'll have to wait two and a half minutes. Just stay here."
Me: "Okay..there's someone behind me..."
Girl: "They're waiting on fries too."
4 minutes later.
Girl: "Just so you know, when you order a combo with water...you need to say bottled water."
Me: "But I didn't want bottled water."
Girl: "Oh, well you can't get regular water with a combo."
Me: "Oh. Sorry."
Girl: "Yeah. Just keep it in mind for next time."
Me: "Okay..."
Girl: "Could you pull forward? "
Pull forward...5 minutes elapse. Man behind me gets food. I thought he needed fries...apparently not.
Girl: "Here you go. I upsized your fries and drink for being cooperative."
I seriously felt disciplined by Arby's. If I hadn't been cooperative would they have taken my food away? I now know where to go if I ever need a moral compass or a nice dose of positive reinforcement.
Also. She upsized my water? It's free as it is.
Claire
Some Things to Consider:
As of yesterday night at midnight, Melissa L. Coffey and I are officially independent and competent humans because we assembled a couch. It was quite the feat. You may wonder about a couch that needs to be assembled...I would tell you to visit your local swedish furniture mart...they don't believe in pre assembled.
Big Bang Theory starts this week. I wish I could say I'm not counting down the hours...but that would be a lie.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
Shut Up! Miss Kinney knows who Lil Wayne is!
True life quote. It is truly a shocking moment when you realize your teacher is an actual human who listens to actual music and has an affinity for crude rappers. Such were the conversations today.
- A moment from yesterday:
Student, "Hey, Saturday's September 11th."
Me: "Yeah. Out of curiosity, do you all remember September 11th?"
Student: "Yeah, we were in preschool and got to go home early."
Me: "Wow. Okay"
Student: "Miss Kinney, where were you when that happened?"
Me: "In the exact spot you are in right now. In 8th grade, in my first period class."
Student: "Woah. You were our age when that happened?"
Me: "Yes."
Student: "So that makes you like 22?"
Me: "Yes. Almost 23."
Student: "DANG! I thought you were like 30!"
Good. If I'm not being mistaken for a student by an administrator...I'm being called 30 by the kids. Apparently I just do not look my age...no matter which way you look at it. Oh well.
- Some more quotes:
"So, Ms. Kinney, were you like a total nerd in high school? Did you even have friends?"
Thank you Daniel for that nice bruise to my ego. I did in fact have friends, to the best of my knowledge. I think...
"Miss Kinney, I love you, but seriously, you are the biggest dork I've ever met."
Apparently if you're teaching about the nervous system, telling them that if your nerve system ever got out of control you might be able to shoot lightning out your fingers because of the electrical currents that trigger it, is just a really dorky thing to say... Point taken Jenny. Point. Taken.
You should also know that today marked a new era in the Explorer team. As of today and a discussion with our classes...PDA shall no longer be accepted upon punishment of a parent phone call.
Acceptable Behavior Includes:
Holding Hands
Quick Hugs
High Fives
Shaking Hands (If you've read my earlier blog...you know I'm in full support of this one)
Unacceptable Behavior Includes (deemed unacceptable because it has occurred):
Quick Peck Kisses
Kisses that last longer than 10 seconds in the middle of the hallway
Hugging that involves throwing yourself into the person and subsequently against a locker and proceeding to kiss
There was an outrage. I had to have a discussion with my second hour that went something like this:
Student: "But we don't mind watching each other's PDA"
Me: "But I DO mind. It's disgusting. Believe it or not..I didn't wake up today and think...hmmm...what to do at work today..OH! I know...watch all my students make out with each other in the hall way."
Student: "Whatever! All you teachers do it when you get home!"
Me: "KEYWORD: HOME!" (what i really wanted to do was laugh...because this is SOO far from the truth)
Student: "Fine. What about after school when we're waiting on busses?"
Me: "Guys. Seriously. It is not acceptable to make out in public. EVER. You need to learn this young because if you don't...people will talk trash about you for the rest of your life...trust me..I spent my entire college career making fun of the people who made out on the couches of the student union. Just don't do it."
Apparently, they just can't keep their hands off each other and it is just too hard to get through and ENTIRE hour of class without first making out. Oi.
Claire
Some Things to Consider:
- My mom told me she would not support me if I tried to meet someone through going on the Bachelor. This came as the second large blow from my mom who earlier confessed that she doesn't pray for my future husband. Frick.
- My passion for Jeopardy has only increased since my departure from college. I now consider myself in training for the show. So far this consists of: watching the show obsessively, participating in trivia night at a pizza place, working crossword puzzles and obsessively checking the Jeopardy website for audition dates and free trials of the online game.
- A moment from yesterday:
Student, "Hey, Saturday's September 11th."
Me: "Yeah. Out of curiosity, do you all remember September 11th?"
Student: "Yeah, we were in preschool and got to go home early."
Me: "Wow. Okay"
Student: "Miss Kinney, where were you when that happened?"
Me: "In the exact spot you are in right now. In 8th grade, in my first period class."
Student: "Woah. You were our age when that happened?"
Me: "Yes."
Student: "So that makes you like 22?"
Me: "Yes. Almost 23."
Student: "DANG! I thought you were like 30!"
Good. If I'm not being mistaken for a student by an administrator...I'm being called 30 by the kids. Apparently I just do not look my age...no matter which way you look at it. Oh well.
- Some more quotes:
"So, Ms. Kinney, were you like a total nerd in high school? Did you even have friends?"
Thank you Daniel for that nice bruise to my ego. I did in fact have friends, to the best of my knowledge. I think...
"Miss Kinney, I love you, but seriously, you are the biggest dork I've ever met."
Apparently if you're teaching about the nervous system, telling them that if your nerve system ever got out of control you might be able to shoot lightning out your fingers because of the electrical currents that trigger it, is just a really dorky thing to say... Point taken Jenny. Point. Taken.
You should also know that today marked a new era in the Explorer team. As of today and a discussion with our classes...PDA shall no longer be accepted upon punishment of a parent phone call.
Acceptable Behavior Includes:
Holding Hands
Quick Hugs
High Fives
Shaking Hands (If you've read my earlier blog...you know I'm in full support of this one)
Unacceptable Behavior Includes (deemed unacceptable because it has occurred):
Quick Peck Kisses
Kisses that last longer than 10 seconds in the middle of the hallway
Hugging that involves throwing yourself into the person and subsequently against a locker and proceeding to kiss
There was an outrage. I had to have a discussion with my second hour that went something like this:
Student: "But we don't mind watching each other's PDA"
Me: "But I DO mind. It's disgusting. Believe it or not..I didn't wake up today and think...hmmm...what to do at work today..OH! I know...watch all my students make out with each other in the hall way."
Student: "Whatever! All you teachers do it when you get home!"
Me: "KEYWORD: HOME!" (what i really wanted to do was laugh...because this is SOO far from the truth)
Student: "Fine. What about after school when we're waiting on busses?"
Me: "Guys. Seriously. It is not acceptable to make out in public. EVER. You need to learn this young because if you don't...people will talk trash about you for the rest of your life...trust me..I spent my entire college career making fun of the people who made out on the couches of the student union. Just don't do it."
Apparently, they just can't keep their hands off each other and it is just too hard to get through and ENTIRE hour of class without first making out. Oi.
Claire
Some Things to Consider:
- My mom told me she would not support me if I tried to meet someone through going on the Bachelor. This came as the second large blow from my mom who earlier confessed that she doesn't pray for my future husband. Frick.
- My passion for Jeopardy has only increased since my departure from college. I now consider myself in training for the show. So far this consists of: watching the show obsessively, participating in trivia night at a pizza place, working crossword puzzles and obsessively checking the Jeopardy website for audition dates and free trials of the online game.
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