Let Me See Your Chief Kennesaw! Oh wait...not you Pack 5.

Well friends.
As I have mentioned before, I have a big kid job these days. It starts in two weeks. I'm freaking out a little, but whatevs.

In the mean time, I have worked the standard IncrediPet and Camp Kearney summer...which every summer I swear I'll never do again. I always do.

Today was the last day of Camp Kearney (that involved children, tomorrow we pack everything..death).

To cap off potentially my last session EVER of Camp Kearney...I got a rather delightful pack that liked to do things like punch each other and swear. Naturally, we got along really well, as everyone knows I'm really into physical violence and cuss words.

After two weeks of what seemed like a never ending hades of children that made me question my desire to spend all day everyday with kids a little more than I'd like heading into my first teaching job, my kids finally decided that TODAY they would be good. It was seriously a group consensus...I had nothing to do with it.

One delightful aspect of Camp Kearney is the beloved Chief Kennesaw:


These days he's attached to a stick and is a little worse for the wear...maybe because I stole him last year and he spent the remainder of the year in my back window...maybe he melted a little...also maybe he lived through a thunderstorm or two in the woods..hung in a tree, but I SWEAR I had nothing to do with that one.

Needless to say, Chief Kennesaw is one very popular entity at CK.

Also. CK (Chief Kennesaw...not Camp Kearney..confusing..I know) is given to a group (or pack as we like to call them..since we're wolves and everything) who best follows the rules and listens to directions. It's very coveted because who wouldn't want a melted tiki mask hanging next to their table with caution tape around it?

SO ANYWAY. After two straight weeks of behavior that would make their mother's cry had I told them about it...my kiddos decided they would bargain with me for their good behavior. They had two demands. 1. A popsicle each AND 2. A Chief Kennesaw win. These sounded like reasonable demands to me, so I made a deal with the devil. They said they'd be good. AND THEY WERE! It was absolutely shocking. I even tested them by playing dodge ball..a game guaranteed to send them reeling into fist fights and harsh words. No dice amigo. They just smiled and kept playing..even when they got hit in "the place," as they like to refer to it.

SO. Naturally at the end of the day, I "nominate" my kids for Chief Kennesaw. This is what my boss (who..let's be honest takes his job a liitttle too seriously..among other things) says,

"Claire, I cannot give Pack 5 Chief Kennesaw. The essence of Chief Kennesaw is listening and following directions..and your kids just really struggled with that all week..and I caught them throwing mustard packets at dinner. I don't think we can taint the name of Chief Kennesaw by giving it to Pack 5."

WOW. WOOOOWWW.

GOD FORBID that a melted tiki mask that's zip tied together and mounted on a broken mop handle have it's name tainted by my obviously unworthy 8 year olds.

Don't even get me started on Saul Good (NO..NOT the restaurant as you may be thinking), the 200 pound wooden man with marble eyes and a arm that has an uncanny knack for falling off, who may or may not have fallen ON MY TOE yesterday, that is given to the pack who works the best as a team.

Where the HECK do (DID, as of tomorrow at noon) I work?

Oh well. Peace, Love and Chief Kennesaw.

Claire

Some Things to Consider:

1. In my last blog, I misspelled Picnic. You see I assumed that you would spell it like the English word, picnic (the act of people eating out side on a blanket). BOY WAS THIS KID WRONG. PICNIK. Because obviously you cannot spell things the correct way, they must be spelled wrong. Why? Picnik...I already hated you...you are not helping your cause.

2. You may wonder where the name "Chief Kennesaw" came from. The easy answer is that my boss drove by Kenesaw Road on his way to work. The more complicated answer, that I prefer, is that it came from an ancient Indian Chief during the war of 1812 who refused to forfeit his teepee to the British, even though they threatened to kill him. He was scalped (by the British) and left one relic behind that we later found on the grounds of Camp Kearney, which comes in the form of a tiki mask zip tied to a mop pole.

3. Kids will believe anything, it is truly amazing.

4. Is it bad that I like to exploit that as much as possible?

It's an unjust and horrible world we live in...

This world is full of wackos.

True Life: Today I watched a woman come EXTREMELY close to tears because IncrediPet has stopped carrying her dog food.

She stood with her eyes closed and her hand on her forehead for a solid three minutes. It was a very awkward time in my life. I told her we could still special order it..but she wasn't having any of it..this resulted in another three minutes of hand on forehead with eyes closed. I'll be honest, I was so annoyed, I couldn't even be nice to her anymore. Then she left her cart in the middle of the parking lot...I went and got it from her and made her watch me walk it back in.

On no less than three occasions today, I was told that my boss was going to be contacted.

People are passionate about their dog food. Good thing I'm getting out of there in a week...I feel like a good old fashioned riot with pitchforks and torches could occur.

For future reference, if you own a pet store and you are thinking about discontinuing CORE, Merrick and Fromm 30# bags...think again. The world will obviously explode.

Claire

Some Things to Consider:
1. The next time you decide to chew out the person ringing you out...think again...about the fact that they probably have nothing to do with decisions from the higher up.

2. Annie Hall: Most boring movie I've ever watched...so boring I only watched it when Spice World was loading.

This time Baby, I'll be(ee) Bullet Proof

Well blog world. It has been quite some time since we last rendezvoused. I'll be honest, I have felt a little undeserving of your love lately as I have no good material for you. BUT. I will give it a shot and please forgive me should this blog lack my standard wit and charisma.

I recently got the opportunity to reunited with all of my favorite people (for now..until I meet my millionaire husband) and it was spectacular. I tell you, there is nothing better than a wedding combined with a little Holiday World action. There is also nothing more exhausting..I'll be honest, my Camp Kearney game has slacked a little this week because of the fatigue and general bad attitude about life now that it doesn't have the likes of the Villa in it. Lame.

I feel like I spend a lot of my blog talking about the interesting people that somehow always seem to make themselves known in the world, so I'm going to refrain from writing a blog about the tattoos of Holiday World (I would say I was one of 18 adults at the park that lacked one). However please know that when you are 40 with 3 kids and at a water park...the dolphins you had tattooed around your belly button do not look the same as they did when you put them there.

In other news, my dear camper friend Sean has discovered a way to solve the oil spill involving exactly 16 tubes (the square root of 16 is also 4 he informed us), and he told me about it for a solid 45 minutes yesterday. He also has an aptitude for crocheting that he tells us about frequently. I told him he should just crochet a cover for that valve to stop it. He wouldn't even consider it..kids these days..don't listen to their elders.

Well there you go my blog loving friends. It ain't much...but it's something.

Claire

Some Things to Consider:
1. Picnic: if you picnic your pictures. and you are over the age of 13 you should stop. ASAP.
2. A Silly Band Relationship: There is a little romance forming among a few campers at my place of employment. Ages: Both 12. Ways we know its official: 1. It's FBO (facebook official...if you didn't know that...get with the program) 2. There was an exchange of heart shaped silly bands. THIS IS NOT JOKING MATTER ANYMORE FOLKS! Roll out the white carpet and call the caterer... true love is here to stay.