Of Tornadoes and Toilets

If you haven't been paying attention, you should know that there has been some horrific weather around these parts lately.  Tornados, Thunderstorms, Floods, the whole bit.

There have been like a million tornado warnings in the last few days, but the first one during the school day came today.  9:00 AM.  Score.  

Let me describe my severe weather location for you: 

Boys. Locker. Room. 

I want to forfeit all five of my senses every time I have to go in there...which I assure you is only during severe weather, or severe weather drills.  Also. Today, some of the boys told me that boys have been known to pee on the floor just for kicks.  GROSS.  Boys are so gross. Especially in middle school.  I don't think I have to say that I was less than thrilled to "assume the position" with 27 middle schoolers in a pee infested nast hole.  

It gets better.  About 15 minutes into this whole ordeal, one of my students informs me that he thinks he's going to be sick.  Awesome.  But, all is well because he has a trashcan, the kids also inform him that there is a bathroom, so I think I'm in the clear.  

FALSE.  Not three minutes later he comes over and tells me he's going to be sick.  No biggie. I tell him to just go in the bathroom and take care of his problem.  

No Dice Amigo.  

"Ms. Kinney. I can't go to the bathroom in there." 

"Why?"

"Um. There are shorts in the toilet." 

"Wha?" 

And there were. Shorts in the toilet.  

Alright. So I tell him to go use the garbage can.  He says he can't...that he's not going throw up, rather he needs to do something else.  Crap. Literally. 

So I did what every good teacher does. I sent him into the potentially tornado ridden hallway.  Don't worry. I told him if he suspected tornadic activity to just cling to the toilet since they're piped into the ground.  

Moral of the story: Better to brave a twister than crap your pants in front of your 25 of your fellow classmates.  

Peace, Love and Funnel Clouds, 

Claire 

Some Things to Consider: 

- Owen is getting declawed tomorrow and I'm starting to feel really guilty about it...of course as I type this, he's biting my hand.  Too bad I can't have him deteethed.  

- State testing starts in a week.  Next week is spirit week for testing.  You thought spirit week was just for homecoming and athletics? FALSE alarm.  I am already pumped for Tacky Tuesday.  Cha Ching.