Drama Drama Drama

Although I know you were all excited to read an entire blog post about Laguna Beach and how much I miss the presence of that show in my life...unfortunately, my topic of today is not Laguna Beach itself...but rather the premise of the show. Drama.

Let's be real...I spend my entire day with 14 year olds, who are not famous for their level heads and sincere hearts. With this comes a little bit of dramatic flair. Combine the flair with the fact that it's the day before spring break and you can go ahead and bet, sure as the Pope is Catholic, that it's going to be an interesting day.

Situation 1:

Coming out of the cafeteria, post lunch. Student is walking with slumped shoulders..appears mildly like he's going to cry.

Me: Come here. What's wrong?
Student: Nothing
Me: Clearly, it's not nothing...you look like someone just killed your puppy.
Student: No. Nothing.
Me: Come on...tell me...what happened?
Student: NOTHING!!! NOO ONE CARES!!!
Me: Well...apparently some one cares...I'm sitting here talking to you...tell me specifically what happened?
Student: THEY ALL HATE ME!!!! (Starts crying, sinks down the wall, in an Allie gets dumped by Frank for his ex, last season of the Bachelorette kind of way)
Me: Tell me who hates you and why, so I can take care of this.
Student: THEY THREW PICKLES AT MY FACE!!!!!
Me: Pickles? More than one person threw pickles at your face?
Student: YESSSSS!!!! (We are bawling at this point)
Me: Who threw pickles at your face?
Student: JOHNNYYY!!!
Me: So Johnny threw a pickle at your face? That is why you are laying on the floor having a tantrum?
Student: YESSS!!!

Situation Two:

School Wide Talent Show (Now...if you want my opinion...this is a horrible idea...no one in middle school should EVER...I repeat EVER stand in front of a large group of their peers...too many things can go wrong)

We are on approximately the 3rd act of the afternoon and the gym is heating up nicely...because really, who doesn't want to be in a room full of middle schoolers...most of whom haven't figured out the concept of deodorant yet...with no air circulation whatsoever.

Girl is singing Love Story by Taylor Swift...excellent choice. Note: Girl is singing over the track of Taylor's voice, so basically like a car sing-a-long...but in front of the entire student body.

It appears to be going fine, no one's doing anything particularly awful, aside from the student I had to ask to quit full-body massaging the boy in front of her. All of the sudden, girl starts to look very uncomfortable...she starts twirling her hair, shifting, etc. Then, out of NOWHERE...she throws her microphone to the ground turns, and sprints out of the gym at a speed usually reserved for Olympic athletes or someone being chased by Jason from the Halloween movies. Entire school sits in silence as long as middle schoolers can sit in complete silence, which is approximately half a second...but let me tell you it was a long and uncomfortable half second.

We moved on to the next act, a student solving a rubix cube along to flight of the bumble bee.

On the up side: IT'S SPRING BREAK!!! That said...I probably won't have any good stories for you, since I intend for my week to consist of some serious QT with my boy Owen and my couch.

Peace, Love and Jesse Johnson,

Claire

Some Things to Consider:

1. I definitely got some mail that included a prayer rug and a sealed prophecy...I guess times are tough, but really? A prayer rug with the face of Christ on it with blinking eyes? Asking me to pay for my prayers to be answered? Is anyone really dumb enough to mail that back in?

2. It's April, which means its officially tax month. I wish I could tell you that I got an awesome refund...but unfortunately, my taxes are on hold due to the fact that my father is currently in the process of tiling our laundry room and just obtained an iPad...I just hope he enjoys his iPad, because it could be the reason his daughter gets arrested for tax evasion.