Apparently Friday is list day around blog land. So I thought Hey, why not join in the fun.
So here we go, ten random facts about Claire L. Kinney, blogger extraordinaire, for the week.
1. Yesterday I drove to Bath County, Kentucky. It was as hillbilly as it sounds.
2. Yesterday I drove to Bath County, Kentucky for an academic team coaches meeting. It was as nerdy as it sounds.
3. Sometimes when I hear a baby crying in a store I get so mad I feel rage in my stomach.
4. I don't like babies. If I ever have children, I think I will adopt a 5 year old that will agree to having its name changed.
5. I have a file folder in my desk drawer at school labeled Rando Crap. It is really full.
6. I haven't cooked a meal for myself in at least 3 weeks. I'm still living on the leftovers of a casserole I made at that time. It was giant.
7. I drew a moustache on my mirror with dry erase marker because it makes looking in the mirror more entertaining.
8. I'm obsessed with The Biggest Loser. I've watched two seasons in the last week, in addition to keeping up with the current season.
9. Watching The Biggest Loser should inspire me to work out...it doesn't. Instead I find it hilarious to eat something really unhealthy while I watch. I think I'm missing the point.
10. I've decided I need to read the X Men comics because I find them fascinating. After doing some research I've discovered it's going to be more complicated than expected. Apparently you can't just start at #1. I want to go to a comic book store, but I'm afraid they'll judge me.
I'm going to leave you with a quote from my favorite TV show, maybe of all time, The Big Bang Theory.
Sheldon: "I believe I would like to alter the paradigm of our relationship."
Amy: "I'm listening."
Sheldon: "I would not object to us no longer referring to you as not my girlfriend."
Amy: "Interesting. Now try it without the quadruple negative."
Sheldon: "Amy. Will you be my girlfriend?"
Amy: "Yes."
Sheldon: "Well that's enough of that."
Hahaha. On that note, my world is now complete. Happy Friday!!
Friday, November 18, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
It's Wednesday the week before Thanksgiving, Can I really be expected to function properly?
Today I needed to have a discussion with my dear kiddos. Life lessons with Ms. Kinney, if you will.
They were as follows:
1. Don't let me see your cell phones, if I do I will take them and read your text messages. and laugh. Then I will look through all your media and make sure you aren't being a skank. If you are, an awkward conversation is coming your way.
2. Put your facebook on private. I don't want to see pictures of papers I have given back on your wall, even if I did make a funny when I was grading it. I also don't want to read about how much you hate your science project or how much you are bored with school. Also. They have this rating system where they literally rate each other's appearaces and write it on each other's walls! And people wonder why middle schooler's are so emotionally distraught all the time. (for another facebook and my students story, see here)
So at the end of my long lecture on being a reasonable human being and precisely 3 minutes after I finshed lecturing them about how horrible it was to see cell phones and how bad it was if they go off...My phone started ringing...The Circle of Life from the Lion King. Man do I set a good example.
Oh well. They can't take my phone, but I can take theirs.
They were as follows:
1. Don't let me see your cell phones, if I do I will take them and read your text messages. and laugh. Then I will look through all your media and make sure you aren't being a skank. If you are, an awkward conversation is coming your way.
2. Put your facebook on private. I don't want to see pictures of papers I have given back on your wall, even if I did make a funny when I was grading it. I also don't want to read about how much you hate your science project or how much you are bored with school. Also. They have this rating system where they literally rate each other's appearaces and write it on each other's walls! And people wonder why middle schooler's are so emotionally distraught all the time. (for another facebook and my students story, see here)
So at the end of my long lecture on being a reasonable human being and precisely 3 minutes after I finshed lecturing them about how horrible it was to see cell phones and how bad it was if they go off...My phone started ringing...The Circle of Life from the Lion King. Man do I set a good example.
Oh well. They can't take my phone, but I can take theirs.
Friday, November 11, 2011
On the Blogging World.
I'm going to set up a little bloggy blog that will represent other blogs as I see them. Just for the record, I'm not hating...just pointing out that maybe a lot of blogs are alike...but hey...I still read them, so blog on blog world.
Insert random picture that has nothing to do with anything, but inevitably has a very well dressed girl in muted colors with soft lighting:
For the record, to find this picture I googled, soft lighting cute clothes nature.
Next they're probably going to tell you what happy things they've done lately.
Today I love life. It is the best thing ever. Me and my best friendhusbandlovermanhunk are going on a date to somewhere adorable and local and healthy. I got an awesome amazing bestthingi'veevereaten vegan no carb avacado sprout delight. IT WAS AWESOME!!!!! Then. I went and worked out for 9 years and wahhh it sucked, but I felt so good when I finished that it was worth it! I loved being toned and fitting my tight little body into precious vintage clothes.
Insert random picture that has nothing to do with anything, but inevitably has a very well dressed girl in muted colors with soft lighting:
For the record, to find this picture I googled, soft lighting cute clothes nature.
Next they're probably going to tell you what happy things they've done lately.
Today I love life. It is the best thing ever. Me and my best friendhusbandlovermanhunk are going on a date to somewhere adorable and local and healthy. I got an awesome amazing bestthingi'veevereaten vegan no carb avacado sprout delight. IT WAS AWESOME!!!!! Then. I went and worked out for 9 years and wahhh it sucked, but I felt so good when I finished that it was worth it! I loved being toned and fitting my tight little body into precious vintage clothes.
Now I'm probably going to include a cute picture of my baby. For me this is my cat...so here you go:
Ahhh. He's so cute. I dress him in vintage baby clothes always with animal hats. Also I never leave him because he's so greattttt.
Then I'm going to ask you a question like, don't you just love vintage clothes and fall and cooking and working out and babies??
Maybe I'm not cut out for the blog world. I mean...I don't go cute places and if I do, I don't take pictures...and shhhh, don't tell blogger...but I don't actually own a camera, much less a DSLR. I also don't have instagram because I have a flip phone from 2002. Oh well...I will blog on and hope that maybe one day someone will like my little blog, even though I never show you my outfits...or my baby...or my decorating skills...or my food choices...or my husband
Thursday, November 10, 2011
November 11, 2011
I know. It's not November 11. It's November 10. However, apparently I am not making a big enough deal out of the fact that tomorrow is the one and only 11.11.11. AND at 11:11 on 11.11.11 apparently all my dreams will come true. Good luck getting me into Major League Baseball 11:11 on 11.11.11.
Apparently a few of my girls have decided that 11.11.11 is going to make an awesome anniversary. SO, I joke not when I tell you this...they have plans to obtain boyfriends tomorrow. Genius, right? I mean, what's more promising than a middle school relationship began with the soul purpose of getting a boyfriend on November 11th? One girl even told me she's talking to a boy, but she won't let him ask her out until tomorrow. (We won't go into what "being asked out" means...it gets very complicated, but I can assure you, it doesn't involve actual dates). That is dedication. Then her and another girl proceeded to tell me that the boys they liked were dimes. What the crap is a dime?? Am I really so old that I don't know the current slang!? I mean come on...I listen to rap...I thought I was hip to the groove, but apparently not. I figured out that it means really attractive. Good grief.
In other news, let me be the first to tell you, MERRY CHRISTMAS!! Yes. I am that person, the one that gets really excited about the fact that all I heard at Wal-Mart this morning was Christmas music, who has already decorated her apartment (as much as Owen will let me..) for Christmas. I think It's a Wonderful Life will be viewed in the near future. It's Christmas people...and I just can't get enough! Now. I know. It isn't even Thanksgiving yet. Wah Wah suckers!!!! This is one of the beautiful things about being an adult. I DECIDE WHEN IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!
That's all I got today folks. Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and I'll just go ahead and throw it out there...Happy New Years, Martin Luther King Day, President's Day, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, April Fools Day, Flag Day and Independence Day...I think that's as far in advance as I'll work for now.
Claire
Apparently a few of my girls have decided that 11.11.11 is going to make an awesome anniversary. SO, I joke not when I tell you this...they have plans to obtain boyfriends tomorrow. Genius, right? I mean, what's more promising than a middle school relationship began with the soul purpose of getting a boyfriend on November 11th? One girl even told me she's talking to a boy, but she won't let him ask her out until tomorrow. (We won't go into what "being asked out" means...it gets very complicated, but I can assure you, it doesn't involve actual dates). That is dedication. Then her and another girl proceeded to tell me that the boys they liked were dimes. What the crap is a dime?? Am I really so old that I don't know the current slang!? I mean come on...I listen to rap...I thought I was hip to the groove, but apparently not. I figured out that it means really attractive. Good grief.
In other news, let me be the first to tell you, MERRY CHRISTMAS!! Yes. I am that person, the one that gets really excited about the fact that all I heard at Wal-Mart this morning was Christmas music, who has already decorated her apartment (as much as Owen will let me..) for Christmas. I think It's a Wonderful Life will be viewed in the near future. It's Christmas people...and I just can't get enough! Now. I know. It isn't even Thanksgiving yet. Wah Wah suckers!!!! This is one of the beautiful things about being an adult. I DECIDE WHEN IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!
That's all I got today folks. Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and I'll just go ahead and throw it out there...Happy New Years, Martin Luther King Day, President's Day, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, April Fools Day, Flag Day and Independence Day...I think that's as far in advance as I'll work for now.
Claire
Friday, October 28, 2011
Fright Nights: Part III
I'm sitting at school writing this during my plan. Those idiots unblocked blogger. How am I ever supposed to get any papers graded or lessons planned? Good grief. We all know I don't have that kind of self discipline. Blogs come a callin and I answer with open arms. Oh well.
Also. I'm wearing my "livin' life in 6D B" glasses as you may have seen in previous posts because it is spirit week. In addition to Superhero Day, Camo Day, Wear Red Day and Spirit Day, we also have dress like a nerd day. Actually it started out as Nerds v. Jocks day, but apparently that was offensive and not representative of our desire to have a unified student body. So then we were supposed to cancel the nerd all together, and have jock/dress your favorite decade day. But then the kids were so hacked off they were fearing riot, so nerd day got reinstated, but this time with the removal of the vs. This is how pretty much everything around here goes. Keep up fools. Regardless, I find myself in my Science Heroes T-Shirt, turtle neck underneath, in capri pants with cat socks and chucks, wearing red suspenders with my hair on top of my head. Here's a visual.
Anyway, I thought it might be time to update you on Fright Nights again. It is going splendidly. I say that because I haven't been there the four busiest nights of the season (Twice because of the plague, twice because I was in Indiana celebrating college, which is I guess what homecoming is?). Apparently it's brutal.
I've taken a true love for watching the goings on in the building before we get the party started. These people are HILARIOUS.
First of all, I am one of 5 people (out of approximately 75 total) that don't smoke. I'm probably going to suffer the ill effects of smoking from the intense amount of second hand. Between that and my diet coke addiction (or cancer juice, as one of my students likes to call it), I'm probably headed for an early grave. I'm forever being asked for a lighter or a cigarette, neither of which I have. (They don't think it's funny when I offer to light it with the heat I emit from my body because I'm so SMOKIN hot in my Ghillet suit)
Mostly I keep to myself. I have a select group of people I am willing to talk to, but much past that and I start to get concerned for my life. Yesterday a guy wielding a broken baseball bat (which I heard him say he broke himself during a fit of rage) comes up to me and we have the following encounter:
Broken Bat Man (also wearing scary, messed up mask): Dang girl, you ain't talk much.
Me: I'm tired and I don't have a lot to say.
Broken Bat Man: Wow. I'm glad to hear you have a voice...I wasn't for sure that you had one.
What I actually wanted to say: NO! Of course I don't talk much you crazy! You're weilding a broken bat, you are missing 5 teeth and I've heard you talk at least 3 times about your parole officer!
There is also an extrememly high turnover rate at this place. As in every night, 50% of the staff is completely new. Which makes for an interesting situation and a plethora of new people to watch at all times. Yesterday, one girl thought it would be a good idea to just bark at everyone who passed by. Solid. I'm all for that. For the record, she was not dressed as a dog or any variety of dog. Just wearing pretty normal clothes. I like.
I'm starting to get creative with my free time in the woods as well. I've started a nice regimine of ghillet yoga and laps around the clearing. Exercise or bust. That's my life motto...HA!
Anyway, it seems that the crowds get weirder and weirder the closer you get to Halloween, so I am sure tonight will have many fun adventures in store.
Until next time,
Peace, Love and Pepper Spray,
Claire
Some Things to Consider:
1. Yesterday, one of my students informed me (in all seriousness) that the United States was developing methods for creating Zombies. Are we really prepared for this?? He is. He's been learning the art of zombie killing. I know who I'm going to for advice when the Zombie Apocolypse comes. Do You? I suggest you start thinking about it.
Also. I'm wearing my "livin' life in 6D B" glasses as you may have seen in previous posts because it is spirit week. In addition to Superhero Day, Camo Day, Wear Red Day and Spirit Day, we also have dress like a nerd day. Actually it started out as Nerds v. Jocks day, but apparently that was offensive and not representative of our desire to have a unified student body. So then we were supposed to cancel the nerd all together, and have jock/dress your favorite decade day. But then the kids were so hacked off they were fearing riot, so nerd day got reinstated, but this time with the removal of the vs. This is how pretty much everything around here goes. Keep up fools. Regardless, I find myself in my Science Heroes T-Shirt, turtle neck underneath, in capri pants with cat socks and chucks, wearing red suspenders with my hair on top of my head. Here's a visual.
Anyway, I thought it might be time to update you on Fright Nights again. It is going splendidly. I say that because I haven't been there the four busiest nights of the season (Twice because of the plague, twice because I was in Indiana celebrating college, which is I guess what homecoming is?). Apparently it's brutal.
I've taken a true love for watching the goings on in the building before we get the party started. These people are HILARIOUS.
First of all, I am one of 5 people (out of approximately 75 total) that don't smoke. I'm probably going to suffer the ill effects of smoking from the intense amount of second hand. Between that and my diet coke addiction (or cancer juice, as one of my students likes to call it), I'm probably headed for an early grave. I'm forever being asked for a lighter or a cigarette, neither of which I have. (They don't think it's funny when I offer to light it with the heat I emit from my body because I'm so SMOKIN hot in my Ghillet suit)
Mostly I keep to myself. I have a select group of people I am willing to talk to, but much past that and I start to get concerned for my life. Yesterday a guy wielding a broken baseball bat (which I heard him say he broke himself during a fit of rage) comes up to me and we have the following encounter:
Broken Bat Man (also wearing scary, messed up mask): Dang girl, you ain't talk much.
Me: I'm tired and I don't have a lot to say.
Broken Bat Man: Wow. I'm glad to hear you have a voice...I wasn't for sure that you had one.
What I actually wanted to say: NO! Of course I don't talk much you crazy! You're weilding a broken bat, you are missing 5 teeth and I've heard you talk at least 3 times about your parole officer!
There is also an extrememly high turnover rate at this place. As in every night, 50% of the staff is completely new. Which makes for an interesting situation and a plethora of new people to watch at all times. Yesterday, one girl thought it would be a good idea to just bark at everyone who passed by. Solid. I'm all for that. For the record, she was not dressed as a dog or any variety of dog. Just wearing pretty normal clothes. I like.
I'm starting to get creative with my free time in the woods as well. I've started a nice regimine of ghillet yoga and laps around the clearing. Exercise or bust. That's my life motto...HA!
Anyway, it seems that the crowds get weirder and weirder the closer you get to Halloween, so I am sure tonight will have many fun adventures in store.
Until next time,
Peace, Love and Pepper Spray,
Claire
Some Things to Consider:
1. Yesterday, one of my students informed me (in all seriousness) that the United States was developing methods for creating Zombies. Are we really prepared for this?? He is. He's been learning the art of zombie killing. I know who I'm going to for advice when the Zombie Apocolypse comes. Do You? I suggest you start thinking about it.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
The Plague
Well. It has happened. I knew I couldn't avoid it for much longer. I have come down with the plague. I'm going to go ahead and blame the germ infested little miscreants I welcome into my room with open arms every day. And you wonder why I don't hug people...
As it stands, I am sitting on my couch, wearing 19 layers of clothes, under a down comforter, with a space heater rolling because in addition to being sick, my heat doesn't work. It's a really sweet situation. You're jealous, I'm sure.
Being the trooper that I am (not really, I'm a huge pansy about being sick), I decided to go to school yesterday, but I left half day because I decided I was probably going to die in the near future. So naturally, I went to seek medical help. After being shot down by my own doctor, and not having the energy to fight the good fight and needing find someone to tell me I wasn't knock-knock-knocking on heaven's door, I went to a walk in clinic. Mistake. First of all, it cost freaking $50. Holy macarooni. Apparently being shunned by your own doctor comes at a high price. So now I'm rejected and poor. They really know how to make a person feel good.
To the walk in clinic's benefit, it wasn't crowded and I didn't have to wait very long. After having my vitals taken to prove I'm not dead, and being asked for the first time if there was any chance of pregnancy, I made my way to a delightful exam room.
5 minutes later a man practically runs in the door, screams his name at me and demands that I tell him what is wrong. I wish I was exaggerating, but I'm not. Also, he was talking so fast with a very thick accent. I could barely understand him. I tell him my symptoms. He asks me if I'm pregnant. I have no idea where he got the concept that sore throat means pregnant. I mean...I didn't go to medical school, but somehow I doubt the two are related. He asks me another long series of questions, so fast I barely have time to respond before he's on to the next question. He asks if I'm tired. I say yes. He asks if I'm pregnant, again. Then he asks if I've had mono. I guess I'm at an age where you think pregnant first, mono second. Man, it used to be the total opposite. I guess I'm getting old. He felt around, checked my heart and lungs, then he goes to feel my stomach and asks AGAIN if there's any possible way I could be pregnant. Now this was just getting to be a little much, and had I been in my right state of mind, and not wallowing in self pity with how bad I felt, I would have yelled at him.
He says, "I'm going to check your tests."
I heard, "I'm going to check your breasts."
This is how bad the accent was and how creepy and weird this doctor is. He comes back and tells me I am negative for strep. He swabs my throat again to double check, but proceeds to tell me that I have a cold. Baller. I just got creeped on and degraded AND payed $50 to be told I have a cold. I ask him if there is a possibility that I have a sinus infection since I get those pretty frequently. He says no...it's not a sinus infection until 7 days. I think, "great, I get to feel this way for 7 more days." He says he'll give me an antibiotic if I want it...I feel like this is bad medical practice. I tell him no. I don't believe in the overuse of antibiotics. I'm really thinking, this weirdo would probably poison me anyway, I'll just wait the seven days and see my normal doctor. THEN. Old boy says this, "You don't seem very happy with me."
I'm thinking: NO!! You're right. I would actually go with down right pissed off. You accused me of being pregnant FOUR times. You practically molested me and you are rude and I just paid $50 for you to yell orders at me and tell me I have a cold. On top of all of that, I feel like crap and there's nothing you can do about it!!
What I actually said: "This is a doctor's office. People are sick. It's not exactly joyous. I don't feel good."
Oh mylanta. THEN i went to Kroger to get some drugs. I had to jump through like 8765 hoops to prove I wasn't going to make meth out of my cold medicine. GO figure.
Ah well. I feel a little better today, but definitely not up to par. Give it 7 days and we'll try again with this whole doctor situation.
Peace, Love and a gallon of orange juice,
Claire
As it stands, I am sitting on my couch, wearing 19 layers of clothes, under a down comforter, with a space heater rolling because in addition to being sick, my heat doesn't work. It's a really sweet situation. You're jealous, I'm sure.
Being the trooper that I am (not really, I'm a huge pansy about being sick), I decided to go to school yesterday, but I left half day because I decided I was probably going to die in the near future. So naturally, I went to seek medical help. After being shot down by my own doctor, and not having the energy to fight the good fight and needing find someone to tell me I wasn't knock-knock-knocking on heaven's door, I went to a walk in clinic. Mistake. First of all, it cost freaking $50. Holy macarooni. Apparently being shunned by your own doctor comes at a high price. So now I'm rejected and poor. They really know how to make a person feel good.
To the walk in clinic's benefit, it wasn't crowded and I didn't have to wait very long. After having my vitals taken to prove I'm not dead, and being asked for the first time if there was any chance of pregnancy, I made my way to a delightful exam room.
5 minutes later a man practically runs in the door, screams his name at me and demands that I tell him what is wrong. I wish I was exaggerating, but I'm not. Also, he was talking so fast with a very thick accent. I could barely understand him. I tell him my symptoms. He asks me if I'm pregnant. I have no idea where he got the concept that sore throat means pregnant. I mean...I didn't go to medical school, but somehow I doubt the two are related. He asks me another long series of questions, so fast I barely have time to respond before he's on to the next question. He asks if I'm tired. I say yes. He asks if I'm pregnant, again. Then he asks if I've had mono. I guess I'm at an age where you think pregnant first, mono second. Man, it used to be the total opposite. I guess I'm getting old. He felt around, checked my heart and lungs, then he goes to feel my stomach and asks AGAIN if there's any possible way I could be pregnant. Now this was just getting to be a little much, and had I been in my right state of mind, and not wallowing in self pity with how bad I felt, I would have yelled at him.
He says, "I'm going to check your tests."
I heard, "I'm going to check your breasts."
This is how bad the accent was and how creepy and weird this doctor is. He comes back and tells me I am negative for strep. He swabs my throat again to double check, but proceeds to tell me that I have a cold. Baller. I just got creeped on and degraded AND payed $50 to be told I have a cold. I ask him if there is a possibility that I have a sinus infection since I get those pretty frequently. He says no...it's not a sinus infection until 7 days. I think, "great, I get to feel this way for 7 more days." He says he'll give me an antibiotic if I want it...I feel like this is bad medical practice. I tell him no. I don't believe in the overuse of antibiotics. I'm really thinking, this weirdo would probably poison me anyway, I'll just wait the seven days and see my normal doctor. THEN. Old boy says this, "You don't seem very happy with me."
I'm thinking: NO!! You're right. I would actually go with down right pissed off. You accused me of being pregnant FOUR times. You practically molested me and you are rude and I just paid $50 for you to yell orders at me and tell me I have a cold. On top of all of that, I feel like crap and there's nothing you can do about it!!
What I actually said: "This is a doctor's office. People are sick. It's not exactly joyous. I don't feel good."
Oh mylanta. THEN i went to Kroger to get some drugs. I had to jump through like 8765 hoops to prove I wasn't going to make meth out of my cold medicine. GO figure.
Ah well. I feel a little better today, but definitely not up to par. Give it 7 days and we'll try again with this whole doctor situation.
Peace, Love and a gallon of orange juice,
Claire
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Fright Nights: Part II
Well friends. It has begun. My life as a haunted trail employee has begun...and unfortunately (or fortunately...I guess) it has taken over my life. Every Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, I haul my rear end into the woods and sit there waiting for my victims. My role? Ghillie suit. Oh yes. Here is a little visual for you:
If I was really serious about this biz...I wouldn't tell you who I am because it's supposed to be some big secret...but let's be real...I don't care that much.
So. I squat in the middle of the woods, wait for a group to come and when they do...scare the tar out of them. It is super effective.
Things I have Been Called:
- Sasquatch
- Big Foot
- Chewbacca (this is probably the most common...which makes my inner star wars nerd a happy camper)
- Hagrid
- Moss Man
- Tree Guy
- B****
- N*****
- M***** F*****
- Yeti
- That guy from the Wizard of Oz??
- Swamp Santa Claus
Things I have made people do:
- Cry
- Pee
- Hug another man
- Scream bloody murder
- Assume the fetal position
Also. I am getting my cardio on...holy cow. I calculated that on a Friday night, the second busiest night to Saturday, I ran up and down the trail 90 times. I am sore...I am sleep deprived...but I am very amused.
There is more to come friends, because Justin has had even more hilarious things said to him. Also to come: a description of the types of people that work at haunted houses...because THAT is interesting...
Peace, Love and Bush Man,
Claire
P.S. I turn 24 today. I am feeling ancient...I won't lie...and a little emo...Sorry if my post isn't as funny as it could be...I'm sure I will be back to my normal self tomorrow.
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