Neighbor Dan

I don't think I've shared with you about Neighbor Dan yet.  Neighbor Dan and I share the upstairs of the building I live in, including a delightful patio that has a nice rocking chair and view of the parking lot.

I have counted the number of words Neighbor Dan and I have said to each other and at present, after having lived next door to each other for a year, I think the total is somewhere around 20. 20 total words ever. 7 of those words were a time that I looked out my door and he was standing there and he said: "you scared the s**t out of me."  I really have no idea what Neighbor Dan does with his life...I think I heard him talking to one of his girl friends about college one time, so my best guess is grad student.  However, I'm also pretty sure he's in a band.

Some Things I Know About Neighbor Dan:

1. Neighbor Dan has two modes of transportation.  The first is a motorcycle that he works on constantly.  Sometimes when he works on it he grunts at me as I walk in...don't worry I counted those as words in the total word count.  His other mode of transportation is a creeper van.  Like full fledged humongous van.  Sometimes he blocks me in with his creeper van and when he finally comes down I give him a look and he gives me an apologetic look and moves.  NO words necessary for these types of interactions.

2. Neighbor Dan loves his vices.  He absolutely loves chain smoking on our patio.  He also loves drinking on our patio.  He further loves leaving the remnants of both of these activities on our patio.  Also found on our patio: A jean suit, including matching pants and jacket.  I'm not really sure how they got there...nor am I sure I want to know how.

3. Neighbor Dan hates clothes.  I wish I had a dollar for every time I have come home to Neighbor Dan sitting on the patio in his underwear, chain smoking and drinking.  It's delightful.  I always say hey.  He always just looks at me.

4. Neighbor Dan loves the ladies.  Usually there is a lady sitting and chain smoking and drinking with him.  I've seen two different ones.  One looked to be about 45...the other looks to be about 16...I would say Neighbor Dan is somewhere in the realm of 25.  Nice.

Neighbor Dan and I have had one true conversation. It went like this:

Me: "Hey. Just wanted to let you know my car got broken into last night, so we should probably be on the lookout for shadsters."

ND: "Yeah. Once I saw a guy sitting in our driveway in a lawn chair. I told him to leave."

Me: "Wow."

ND: "Yeah."

The most words I've ever heard out of his mouth.  Eh. One day ND and I will be BFF. I just know it.  If he doesn't move out first.

Peace, Love and Cigarettes on my Porch,
Claire

P.S. I only know Dan's real name because I creeped on his mail box out of curiosity.