Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Name Game

I love my name. True story.  If you ever see me in public, I am never too far from a monogram of my initials.  I just really like it.  Kudos parents you did a great job.  However, there are two bones I would like to pick with my name.

1. Claire: Number of Letters = 6
   Louise: Number of Letters = 6
   Kinney: Number of Letters = 6

As a child I was convinced I was the anti-christ.  I'm not even kidding, until like 5th grade when my Sunday School teacher confirmed that the anti-christ was male, I was terrified that I was going to become the anit-christ as an adult.

I asked my mom if she considered this when she named me, she said that yes she did, but she figured I'd just get married and it wouldn't be a problem anymore.  And so began my hunt for a man without 6 letters in his last name.  I would be lying to you if I told you I didn't count almost every males last name that I come in contact with just in case. For the record, I have never dated a boy with a last name with 6 letters.  Also, on that note...good grief mother, what if I don't get married or marry someone with six letters!? I'm stuck as the anti-christ for life! I also try to come up with other people who have this situation to help me feel better about myself...but I've never met anyone with 6 letters in every name...which does not comfort me.  I would also be lying if I told you I didn't pray about it sometimes...just as a precaution.

2. Claire Louise is not what one would consider a fashionable or even modern name.  Let's be real. There are very few Claires in the world and there definitely aren't a lot of Louises...except for the fact that 3/8 in my house senior year of college had that middle name...Claire is an old name.  I like it, I'm fine with it...I mean...I'd much rather be Claire than some crazy new age name like Rain or Sky. Really I had no issue with this at all until I saw The Breakfast Club...here is why: (excuse the blurry clip)





So there you have it.  Claire Louise Kinney.  A great name...but not without its hell sentences or fat girl implications.

Peace, Love and Judd Nelson,
Claire



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