Potty Stories

Working with elementary kids again really makes me remember what is so precious about them.  I mean, they're adoring, actually cute (I don't have to pretend they are cute like I do with  my 8th graders), sweet and many other things.  However, they do come with some issues that 8th graders normally don't.  (Note the use of the word normally, I use it loosely).  The bulk of which involve the bathroom.  Elementary kids for the most part have figured out the bathroom situation, but there are definitely slip ups.

At camp the kids use porta-pots.  Delightful. I know...but what do you expect for a government run day camp that costs $100 for two weeks? There are two actual bathrooms with plumbing, but they are for adults only. Thank goodness.  Kids are rough on bathrooms.  Anyway, I thought I'd share some bathroom stories from years past.

Musical Feces:

Once at camp we were playing musical chairs.  Packs 1 and 2 (6 and 7 year olds).  The kids are going around, having a good old time when I start to notice a stench.  I don't think a lot about it because kids also fart a lot.  But at this point I also start to notice some mud on the chairs.  Well. At the time I thought it was mud.  More and more chairs are gaining mud, when I figure out that it probably isn't mud.  Crap. Literally.  However, at this point I have no way of knowing who the culprit is...and it's not like I can just scream "Alright kiddos, who took a dump in their pants and is smearing it all over the chairs like a monkey!?" So. I did what every good counselor does, I let the kids finish the game...when the poop stopped, I knew the kid who went out last was my pooper.  Well. The chairs continued to get poopy until the very last.  I did a little sniff test and as it would turn out, our winner also had a winner in their pants...which she promptly denied.  Also. Her mom refused to bring the poor girl a change of clothes.  Super nice.

I gotta go:

Camper: Umm. Miss Claire, when are we going up the hill?
Me: In about 5 minutes

Three minutes later

Camper: Umm. Miss Claire, when are we going up the hill?
Me: In about  5 minutes.
Camper: You said that a long time ago.
Me: Well. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow bud and it isn't time yet.
Camper: Well. I really gotta poop, so do you think we could hurry this process up?


Poop is not only limited to children for me.  I've been pooped on by a bird three times to date:

Location 1: Freshman year - First band contest ever, waiting for awards...square in the middle of my hat.  There were literally 200 people who noticed this before me and laughed.

Location 2: Also band, this time Junior year - Warming up for a football game, right on my jacket.  I go see our uniform crew, they die laughing and proceed to call me the bird poop girl for the rest of my band career.

Location 3: Lecturing my campers on respect and listening to me when a bird dropped on right on my lap.  Nice.

Well friends, that's all for today...hope I didn't gross you out too much,

Peace, Love and the Pot,
Claire