To Those Of You Who Think I'm Crazy for Loving 8th Graders.

I have no antics for you today.  I'm not feeling much like laughing at my kids, I more feel like hugging them...which is rare, because usually they smell.

Recently, I lost my sweet Grandmother after a long time of being very sick. It was a terrible experience and I will miss her for the rest of my life, but some encouraging things always come of the bad things. One of which was the sweetest note from one of my students today, my first day back after being gone for a few days attending the funeral. This is how it read: 

Dear Ms. Kinney, 

I know this isn't much, or a real fancy card, but I wanted you to know I care. I remember when I lost my grandmother, it was very hard because I loved her dearly.  I know you will get through this with lots of prayer and God.  Think of it like this: If she was going through any pain, she isn't anymore. (How she knew this...I will never know)  Be strong, and I'm with you.  She's watching over you happily and I'm sure she loved you very much.  Have a blessed day. 

Love Always, 

Student

It's amazing how God can use the people I'm supposed to be setting an example for, and the ones that typically give me a headache, to comfort me during my hard times.

Now. I dare you to turn your nose up at me when I tell you I teach 8th grade.  My kiddos do have a soul sometimes, and a very sweet one at that.  

The Journal Entry Post

I am seriously obsessed with having my kids write journal entries.  It's maybe the best thing ever. The sweet and nurturing teacher in me says it's great because I can find out a lot about them and their hearts.  The person who always needs a laugh in me says it's great because it's hilarious. More so the latter.

Journal Prompt:
What are you doing over spring break?

Over spring break, I will have to go shopping.  I know it sounds kind of girlish, but I gotta get a tux for the dance. (Yes. 8th grade dance is that big of a deal.  tuxes...limos...we know no bounds) I'll play a lot of basketball and I'll watch it too on t.v. Although it's really not interesting anymore since the best team alive, North Carolina, is out. (Dern straight they're out. I used to really like this kid...now I'm rethinking it...) I might play some paintball, but I'll also be texting a lot.  You know, when you don't see your girlfriend for a long time, they get mad if you don't text them. (Poor guy...so young and so whipped). But it's okay, I like texting her. (I get really curious as to how involved these texts get sometimes...I mean...it's so arbitrary...We're texting...ABOUT WHAT???)  If I still have time, I might get Other Student to come over and ride 4-wheelers.

I think this adequately sums up the life of a middle school boy.  Basketball. Texting. Girls. 4-Wheelers.

Quite a life to lead.

The Plague Part II

I've taken a while to post this great story, and I'm not sure why...because it's a good one.  If you are a frequent blog reader, you know that back in October I had the plague.  You can read about it here.

I don't know how I did it, but somehow I avoided all illness save a tiny sinus infection last year.  This year is a different case.  Maybe these kids are just more germy or more touchy than last years kids, but I feel like I have been in a constant state of sick since mid October.  So after my last experience at the walk in clinic, I swore up and down I would never go back.  BUT. Then I got sick on a Sunday and there were rumors of strep throat going around and there really wasn't another option.  So back to the land of people who accuse me of being pregnant I went.  After all, I thought, what are the odds of me getting the same doctor? Those places have like 20 doctors on staff at random times.

WRONG.  After having my vitals taken and waiting in the room for like a small century, in walks none other than everyone's favorite shockingfasttalkerforanenglishlanguagelearner doctor, talking a mile a minute and being demeaning as usual.  The visit went fine.  He only asked me if I was pregnant once, which is a huge step up from the three times he asked me last time.  He figured out my illness pretty quickly, but also determined that I have allergies. Sure. Fine. Whatever.  He also determined I needed nasal spray. Okay. Great. Sure. Then this conversation ensued.

Doctor Crazy Pants: HOW YOU USE NASAL SPRAY!?
Me: Um. I don't know. Normally.
DCP: NO! YOU DO STRAIGHT OR TO SIDE?!
Me: I don't know.
DCP: PICK ONE!!!! STRAIGHT UP OR TO SIDE?!
Me: (I'm getting a little panicey here...I haven't been yelled at since I was pulled over for speeding my freshman year of college, and that ended with me in tears) I don't know!! Straight. Straight!
DCP: WRONG!!!!!!!! That okay. You aren't only one. You must spray to side. That where sinuses are.

Then DCP proceeds to put his ink pen up his nose (like not just a little...all the way) and demonstrates which way to point the nasal spray.  He even used the clicker on his pen as a pretended sprayer.

I was far too sick and tired to control my reactions.  So I laughed in his face.  Oops.

Oh well.  I guess that's just how the cookie crumbles sometimes.  I would say I won't go back there...but at this point...it's just getting pretty entertaining.  Maybe I'll even start requesting DCP.

In other news. It is abstinence week, which means I don't teach. Which further means my pinterest has greatly benefited.  I'm working on a little write up for you all concerning the awesome questions and comments these little delights are making.  I'll warn you ahead of time...these kids aren't as entertaining as last year, but they all still have that ohmygoshthisistheworstthingever look on their faces.  They also stare at their hands a lot.

The Valentine's Day 2012 Post

With the exception of abstinence training (coming up people...2 weeks), Valentine's day may be my favorite day in the school year.  The kids are a flutter with love and teddy bears and flowers and chocolate and generally everything terrible, that looks like valentine's day, that you can buy from the gas station. 

Because I needed a laugh, today I gave my kids the following journal prompt:

Valentine's Day. Love? Hate? What was your best Valentine's day ever?

Here are some of the most outstanding responses.  Keep in mind, I'm typing them exactly as they are written, so don't judge me for using bad grammar or spelling. Please note the drastic differences between girls and boys.

Girl 1:
Valentine's day is great.  I absolutley love it.  Every year I always enjoy Valentine's day, but my favorite Valentine's day was in sixth grade.  I had a boyfriend on Valentine's day and got a Valentine's gift from him.  I got a teddy bear and a note that had a poem on it and a letter to me.  I remember stuffing the bear in my bag because I was afraid my dad would see it.

Girl 2:
My best Valentine's day, hopefully, will be this year.  One reason why is because someone asked me to be their Valentine.  (Side note: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? do you get no love from the person except on Valentine's Day??) I think Valentine's day is okay.  I used to dread it.  All it is, is drama.  Why is it so hard to say, "Happy Valentine's Day," give someone a card or just say that you like them.  It's a day of love.  If you don't have anybody, hug your dog cause he or she loves you.

Boy 1:
I really don't care much for Valentine's day because if you are in a relationship, you got to go and buy your girlfriend something.  So it's expensive and a waste of money in my opinion.  But my best Valentine's day was when I was in elementary school when I could care less if someone got me anything or not.  Typically, I would get rid of my women around holidays because it is too expensive.  Now I just tell them I'm not getting them anything, so they don't have to get me anything.  So it's a win win for both sides.

Boy 2:
I have mixed feelings about Valintine's Day.  It's great for couples, but it reminds people who have no one, such as 40 year olds that still live with their mothers, or 30 year olds that still read comics (umm. guilty, except I'm not 30. So, acceptable?), how lonely they are.  Valintine's day also burns a whole in your pocket.  Money just seems to disapper.  Women always want expensive chocolate.  Then when you finally save your money up and buy it its gone in a minute.  Valintine's day is a day of love or humiliation.  Single people such as cat ladies or people who do math for fun become the laughing stock of the day.  (this seems a bit dramatic...but we'll go with it).  On the bright side is women get all the candy they ever need.  Also women are usually in a good mood.  This is good for the guys.  One day of peace and quit from a woman is like a miracle from Jesus. 

This is why journal writing is the best thing that ever happened to my homeroom class. 

Well. A Happy Valentine's Day to each of you.  May your day be filled with love and at the very least, a sugar high. 

The Global Warming Post

I'll start with a conversation I had with a student yesterday.

Kid: "Um. Ms. Kinney, I know we're starting to talk about global warming, and I just want you to know that Sam doesn't believe in global warming, and he's really opinionated about it, so you should probably prepare yourself for battle."

Today's Assignment:

Make an accrostic using the letters in GLOBAL WARMING, to tell me what you know about it.

Typical Answer:
G-Greenhouse Effect
L-Land Loss
O-Ozone Layer Depletion
B-Bad for Polar Bears
A- Air quality is affected by carbon emission
L-Louisiana getting smaller

W-Warming of the Earth
A-Atomosphere Harmed
R-Rays of Sun
M-Melting
I-Ice Caps
N-Non-renewable Resources
G- Global Crisis

Sam's Answer:
G-Gas
L-Lies
O-Obsession
B-Bogus
A- Absolutely Ridiculous
L-Leftist

W-Wrong
A-Al Gore is crazy
R-Radical
M-Marxist
I-Idiotic
N-National Socialist Party
G-Green Nut Cases

Well. I think we all know where Sam stands on the 2012 election...

The Nuclear Power Plant Post

"Um. Ms. Kinney, I've never really understood the concept of nuclear power plants."
"Okay. What don't you understand?"
"Well. Do they just start with like radioactive seeds??"
"Huh?"
"Ya know, seeds grow into plants."

Bah!

The Lost Cell Phone Post

I am not famous for my ability to keep up with things.  I don't necessarily actually lose things to the point of no return very frequently (although my iPod seems to fall in this category recently), but I definitely do a lot of misplacing.  If I had a dollar for every time I haven't been able to find my keys when it's time to leave, I could solve world hunger. 

This weekend I went to Indianapolis to ring in 2012 with some of my dear friends from college.  I'm on my way back yesterday afternoon when my friend calls me to tell me that I left my makeup bag in her bathroom.  Annoying.  Not something you can easily replace.  I turn around.  Fortunately at this point I haven't even gotten on the interstate yet.  So I go back and get my bag and stop and get some gas on my way out of town.  I am about 30 miles down the road when I realize I can't find  my phone.  I am freaking out already because I'm running behind schedule and I need to get home so I can plan my lessons for the week and clean my apartment for the belated Christmas party I'm having tonight.  I decide I am not going back because I have no idea where it is.  My thoughts on where it could be: In the parking lot of my friend's apartment, at the gas station or (what I was really convinced had happened) I put it on the roof of my car and drove away, leaving my poor little flip phone crushed to smitherines beneath the wheels of a semi truck.  I decide to keep going and figure something out when I get home. 

I get all the way to school, after having stopped multiple times to keep looking around in my car, hoping it will turn up and I still can't find it.  Knowing that no where was open on a Sunday night, much less a Sunday night that also happens to be New Year's Day.  So I buy a pre-paid phone.  It's this awesome little Samsung that cost me a grand total of $15, an investment I deem worthy since the phone I'm currently using can't even make a phone call it's so decrepit.  I prepare myself to do all my phone business through this little phone that is so basic it doesn't even have t9 texting abilities.  I literally had to press every number the number of times I needed for the letter, so like if I wanted to type "R" as in this Really sucks...I had to tap the number 7 three times.  Oh well, I can handle it.  So I call my parents, explain my predicament and explain to them how I'm the most irresponsible person ever.  I make plans with my father to visit the cell phone store today.  I get in my car one last time to look and decide to call my phone from my new awesome pre-paid phone, just to see what happens.  I figure best case scenerio some weird cashier at the gas station picks up and tells me it's at the Speedway on Kessler in Indianapolis. 

Currently my ring tone is Crank Dat Lion King.  Which starts with the beginning the Circle of Life, you know, that weird part where someone is screaming African tribal chant at the top of their lungs.  This is my best typed interpretation, "AYYYYYYEEEEEEESVEEEEENNNYAAAHHHHHHABBBBbAAABEEECHhEEEEMAAHMAHH... AYELAHASVENYAHMAAAA....HILACOKEAHMA..SVENYAHMAAAAA" The part right before "PINK PAJAMAS PENGUINS ON THE BOTTOM, PINK PAJAMAS PENGUINS ON THE BOTTOM." Which is right before my boy Elton starts belting an awesome melody. 

So, what do I hear when I call my phone??
"AYYYYYYEEEEEEESVEEEEENNNYAAAHHHHHHABBBBbAAABEEECHhEEEEMAAHMAHH"

I want to gouge my eyes out. 

So I'm frantically searching all around my car looking for this ringing phone and still cannot find it.  I think I'm losing my mind at this point.  In one last effort to find it, I pick up the boot that I have sitting on my passenger seat.  I hold it up to my ear and the tribal chant gets louder.  Son of a freaking gun.  My phone was in my boot.  Why didn't I think to look there?? Duh.  My phone obviously has excellent taste in footwear. 

The bright side of this story is that I found out I'm good for a phone upgrade...meaning, HELLO 21st Century, it's time for me to have a fancier phone to misplace 24/7.  iPhone 4S...I'm coming for you and I've already mentally accessorized you. Hope you're prepared and like cheetah print.  Goodbye little flip phone with the moveable camera, I'll miss you and your inability to make a phone call.

That's all for now,

Happy New Year!!

Claire